By the time a man is 30 he’s had 500% more practice asking.

Do you practice asking? Would you be interested in letting me practice with you?

See what I did there? I just practiced asking.

If you were sitting across from me, I’m sure I’d get a bit of a WTF look right now. Let me explain…

I think women are behind on the proficiency curve of mastering the art of asking. I believe we’ve been behind for a while, and we’re still playing catch-up. If we want to own our part in closing the compensation (note that I didn’t use the word “pay” here) gap, then we need to be better at asking.

So when did we start getting behind at practising the craft of asking? Look no further than your first boy/girl dance somewhere around 12 or 13 years old.* Cast your mind back to the streamer adorned, disco ball ambiance of your school gym. Are you there?

As I remember it, most of the boys were plastered against the wall on one side of the room, and most of the girls were clumped together giggling on the other. And what’s happening? The boys are trying to stand out, be noticed, trying to pluck up the courage to ask a girl to dance. The girls are waiting, waiting for the guy to ask them to dance.**

Now my awesome lady friends, reading this I’m sure you’re thinking: “No! Wait! I danced by myself. I danced with my friends.” You might have even asked a guy to dance. Think about all the guys you know. How many times have they done the asking vs. how many times you’ve done the asking when it comes to asking you to dance, on a date, for a drink, to the movies, to marry you? Yes, I’ll confess, as bold and self-assured as I am, I followed tradition, and waited for my husband to propose to me. Continue reading “By the time a man is 30 he’s had 500% more practice asking.”

A Better Way to Ask for an Introduction – Help Me Help You Help Them

You’re ready for a change at work – it’s time for the next stage in your career. What are your next steps? It’s likely that as you research new opportunities, you’ll reach out to your network and ask for an introduction or two. You send the basic message – Can you connect me with…? I’d like an introduction to… Can you send me this person’s email? – and get no reply. Continue reading “A Better Way to Ask for an Introduction – Help Me Help You Help Them”