Help Me Help You Help Them: A How-To Guide for Asking

I know I went on a tear about the need for people to just ASK already. (OK, so I’ve written many articles about asking here and here and here.) However, I one particular email I get on a regular basis that I think is worth talking about. It’s the “I’m looking for a job” email. This is what I usually get:

Hi Jo,
I’ve decided to leave my job / have left my job and wondered if you knew of any open roles. Or if you hear of anything I’d love an introduction.
Thanks! Friend

I ALWAYS want to make this happen. If every decision made about you and your opportunities is made in a room you’re not in, you’re not giving me a ton to work with! You’re asking me and your network to a) do the leg work to get all your information and b) create your positioning language for you. And while I consider myself pretty good at creating positioning language, you’re leaving it up to me. And do you honestly want to do that? Continue reading “Help Me Help You Help Them: A How-To Guide for Asking”

How to Hug an American Gladiator and Other Musings On Asks

When I was in my early 20’s, I did some ridiculous things. Some were ridiculously awesome. (Seeing American Gladiator’s Live as a birthday activity – trust me, we were over 21. It was totally awesome!) Others were just plain ridiculous.

One of the more ridiculous things I would do fairly frequently was standing on balconies and in doorways with my back to whoever was my Crush Of the Moment (COM). I had this narrative that posing myself in these places and if the COM liked me, the COM would be compelled to walk up and hug me from behind. Like they do in the movies.

No big surprise, disappointment was a normal part of my life.

Yes, I know. Judge away. Fortunately, I have since got a clue and learned to tell my COM, “I think that someone hugs you from behind is the greatest!”

Hugging commenced. I was much happier.

The lesson that took me a while to learn: When people like you, they want to help you. However, they can’t read your mind, so determine your ask. If you want to make something happen, make the ask easy for the other person too. Continue reading “How to Hug an American Gladiator and Other Musings On Asks”